First Day of work's ok i guess. Im working at a columnbarium. If you dont know what it is it's the place where you place dead people ashes. working there doing some admin work. Its at a home. All Saints Home or something. It's a christian home btw/
My grandfather ashes were placed here actually. Went to His niche and visited him. Started looking at the rest of the deceased's niche and read the bible verses on them. almost of them are the same. haha pretty typical.
While looking around, came upon 2 rather unqiue which struck me strongly. Gave a serious deep thought about it.
First it was the niche for a 19 year old girl. This teenager died at such a young age. Life can be so unpredictable. We are all living everyday under God's grace. Its a blessing that we are able to live each and everyday of our lives. While others died at such a young age.
another was the verse "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the Faith" 2 Timothy 4:7. it was carve on a 63 year old man's niche.
When i saw the verse it reminded me of the 19 year old and questions started popping out of my mind. if i were to die tomorrow, did i fought well for Jesus? If i were about to die tomorrow, did i finish the race? will i keep my faith upon my deathbed. i kept pondering it over and over again.
Finally, my answer to those questions is No. My spiritual life has been rather stagnant lately. i have become rather reluctant going to church attend cg lessons. wanted to quit worahip band but i didnt mention it to Xavier yet. Didnt wanted to go for baptisim lessons though Rev Ng asked me to. Not ready for such a major confirmation; joining the church. I just cant do anything. i really cant. Disappointed many people. i dont know how to face them. My temper has been rising. Started getting pissed off easily. my personality has changed.
I just so would like to throw all my burdens away especially the one which my father's salvation is dependant on me. I know why i got into that poly course. i somehow knew it. If i were to be posted to that course i know it was planned. But i tried challenging God. Tried everyway to get out of the course. But in the end im being shot down by Him. There is no other way out. im to go through that.
Im going through highs and being pushed down badly. im really tired of going through these. more to say but my thoughts are rather messed now.
i'll end here.
My grandfather ashes were placed here actually. Went to His niche and visited him. Started looking at the rest of the deceased's niche and read the bible verses on them. almost of them are the same. haha pretty typical.
While looking around, came upon 2 rather unqiue which struck me strongly. Gave a serious deep thought about it.
First it was the niche for a 19 year old girl. This teenager died at such a young age. Life can be so unpredictable. We are all living everyday under God's grace. Its a blessing that we are able to live each and everyday of our lives. While others died at such a young age.
another was the verse "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the Faith" 2 Timothy 4:7. it was carve on a 63 year old man's niche.
When i saw the verse it reminded me of the 19 year old and questions started popping out of my mind. if i were to die tomorrow, did i fought well for Jesus? If i were about to die tomorrow, did i finish the race? will i keep my faith upon my deathbed. i kept pondering it over and over again.
Finally, my answer to those questions is No. My spiritual life has been rather stagnant lately. i have become rather reluctant going to church attend cg lessons. wanted to quit worahip band but i didnt mention it to Xavier yet. Didnt wanted to go for baptisim lessons though Rev Ng asked me to. Not ready for such a major confirmation; joining the church. I just cant do anything. i really cant. Disappointed many people. i dont know how to face them. My temper has been rising. Started getting pissed off easily. my personality has changed.
I just so would like to throw all my burdens away especially the one which my father's salvation is dependant on me. I know why i got into that poly course. i somehow knew it. If i were to be posted to that course i know it was planned. But i tried challenging God. Tried everyway to get out of the course. But in the end im being shot down by Him. There is no other way out. im to go through that.
Im going through highs and being pushed down badly. im really tired of going through these. more to say but my thoughts are rather messed now.
i'll end here.
posted by Aaron at
9:32 PM
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