some words are meant to be left unspoken.
went malaysia with rev ng and sophia's dad during the morning. went to rompin to racky the beach resorts church's intending to book for the retreat. nice scenery; environment. the serenity and the beauty of the place captured me.
practically it took 3 hrs plus to travel by car from singaopre to the location. slept during the first half of the trip there and stared into blank space on the other. on the way back slept again and woke up soon after. all of sudden i began to find myself reminiscening.
youth committee. sometimes i really got discouraged when running the youth ministry. serious matters which got to be addressed. sigh. just feel like giving up throwing my job aside. its hard to maintain, control and run. i'm not running it up to the standard which it was supposed to be.
still haven gotten over it. i realize it was deeply attached in my heart. soon it will be 3 months. still cant forget her. quietly i know i was nothing in her or rather never in the first place. but the past 2 3 years events just rewinded through my mind. happy times and the sad ones. but i know this is for the better. knowing such a loser i am. i shouldnt have grab hold. but a part of me still struggle to hold on and the other trying to let go. I'm sure she deserves better than having to partake in my miserable lifestyle. sometimes im reminding myself. "hey you're just a kid." forget and let go. give up boy it's no use you cant bring happiness,nothing started in the first place. just how ironical can i get?
daniel once told me. "dont let the inferior complexity get you." but that's the truth isnt it. there are guys outside ways better than me. in my studies i felt like im kind of a failure too. i dont understand why people still held hopes for me. they kept telling me you have already done a good job. but when i reflected the whole event.
i began asking myself. did i?
no.
bang. one day they'll finally realize what kind of failure i am.
btw i prefer this old skin of mine. cheers
went malaysia with rev ng and sophia's dad during the morning. went to rompin to racky the beach resorts church's intending to book for the retreat. nice scenery; environment. the serenity and the beauty of the place captured me.
practically it took 3 hrs plus to travel by car from singaopre to the location. slept during the first half of the trip there and stared into blank space on the other. on the way back slept again and woke up soon after. all of sudden i began to find myself reminiscening.
youth committee. sometimes i really got discouraged when running the youth ministry. serious matters which got to be addressed. sigh. just feel like giving up throwing my job aside. its hard to maintain, control and run. i'm not running it up to the standard which it was supposed to be.
still haven gotten over it. i realize it was deeply attached in my heart. soon it will be 3 months. still cant forget her. quietly i know i was nothing in her or rather never in the first place. but the past 2 3 years events just rewinded through my mind. happy times and the sad ones. but i know this is for the better. knowing such a loser i am. i shouldnt have grab hold. but a part of me still struggle to hold on and the other trying to let go. I'm sure she deserves better than having to partake in my miserable lifestyle. sometimes im reminding myself. "hey you're just a kid." forget and let go. give up boy it's no use you cant bring happiness,nothing started in the first place. just how ironical can i get?
daniel once told me. "dont let the inferior complexity get you." but that's the truth isnt it. there are guys outside ways better than me. in my studies i felt like im kind of a failure too. i dont understand why people still held hopes for me. they kept telling me you have already done a good job. but when i reflected the whole event.
i began asking myself. did i?
no.
bang. one day they'll finally realize what kind of failure i am.
btw i prefer this old skin of mine. cheers
posted by Aaron at
11:51 PM
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