beauty for ashes

2009-03-29T23:58:00.001+08:00

BOO! im blogging here again just for fun. Somehow manage to find my password back for this place.

Golly, this place sure brings back memories. hah

2007-09-04T00:30:00.000+08:00

Once in a while, we'll all have to move on. I guess it's time after 4 years.

http://al89.wordpress.com

-renewed.

2007-09-02T00:19:00.000+08:00

Attachment started on monday. I think i was very blessed to be landed into jotun. Slack job and sometimes i get to go back early. The weather's been great i think, the stormy rains and the blaring winds. Feels good. And the clouds on friday were magnificent! How majestic and gargant they looked. haha.

Heaven is so real. The Second Coming is definitely nearer. Press on.

Sometimes i wonder, do they hate me for everything.

2007-08-26T19:27:00.000+08:00

I learnt what was the true meaning of an Omnipotent God. Indeed He's with us whenever and wherever we're.

Things went to the point which it wasnt planned to do so.

Attachment's tmr and I hope it'll be a slack job. haha

2007-08-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me. Spent my birthday at home. Studied and nua the whole day. Received lots of well wishes this year. thanks!

Another year gone. As though in a wink of the eye. I still remember when i was k2, i always wanted to grow up quickly and do all the things that an adult could but a little child can't. When i was Sec 2, i didnt want to grow up at all. I was having too much fun that i didnt want it all to stop. So now, i wished time wouldnt pass off so quick as i think im growing way too fast. Hah its kinda funny.

Well God has given me more than what i've asked for this year. i really praised and thank God for it.

2007-08-13T20:56:00.000+08:00

people has been constantly nagging me that i've been getting fatter. okok i get it. I'll start working out tmr. i hope. Like i said, in poly all u do is eat, sleep, play and maybe a little of studying.

Attachment posting is out. i've been posted to some dumb ship painting company. It's so way off of whats going on in my diploma. Why in the world they want to send us students to such places anyway?

i just found out that i scored very well for my computational methods practical assignment. And i thought i was going to do badly for it and submitted it late for one day. hah.

Once again it's the examinations period. This time i only have 2 papers. YAY.

2007-08-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

back from mini camp. I really felt something's wrong, different. God's presence is so different. Something's missing, it's like im all alone. So whats wrong?

2007-07-29T18:59:00.000+08:00

It was my last day in ECF, my last service, my last bible study, my last cg session, my last cup of water in the kitchen, my last touch of the piano, my last touch of the library, my last time in the attic, my last time in Mushi's room, my last time on the stage, my last time in the sancturary, my last time on the swing.

Words cant describe what im feeling now. I left there with people feeling hurt which i never wanted that to be left behind, i left there will regrets of things i didnt accomplished, i felt there with regrets with a childhood friend who was feeling negative. I didnt do a proper goodbye to a number of people. I love them all.

But i know i left there for a greater purpose and im really excited of whats in store next.

may His blessings be upon all of you always.

2007-07-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

The weather's great for the past few days imo. The cold wind, cloudy skies, rain and no sun. Im really enjoying the weather but it's a serious sign of global warming. zzz. Singapore has never had such a weather before. Or maybe it did. hah

2007-07-16T15:50:00.000+08:00

All it takes to break the foundation.. is something so small.

2007-07-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

Lau's gone. Flew. Went to aus.

people are leaving. I'm leaving.

so whats up? whats going on? the mind is a terrible thing. assume and you're gone.

accusations. im prepared. condemnations. im not afraid.

2007-07-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

the great divide has begun. Or rather it has long ago. im a little upset la.

2007-06-29T23:54:00.001+08:00

haiya.. broke fast today but eating hotdog bun. argh. didnt realised what i was doing.

watched transformers today with secondary school pals! out of 10, i'll rate it 7.5.. hah.

Focus.

2007-06-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

everyone feels so indifferent, distance now. who's wearing a mask? who's not? there's no one to trust now.

or it's just me?

first week of school. Feels as though i was still holidaying. I PASSED 3 out of 4 of my papers! yay. But i failed cm la due to carelessness.

2007-06-24T18:10:00.000+08:00

Every song piece up a story.

You know, I know. So it comes down to this stage. Jesus we need you more than ever now.

2007-06-23T02:19:00.000+08:00

screw. template was somehow destroyed. music gone, background gone. oh well.

i realised why am i so afraid of speaking up the truth? why am i so afraid of hiding. i wont anymore!

Church is in a sad state now. Lies and more lies. They keep going around trying to justify that they are right. So disappointed please. Especially to a few people whom i had so much respect for. Another thing is they go around trying to ruin the relations we have with others. PATHEIC. They even lie to their own children.

I'll leave. I hope. Awaiting an answer. Still, i cant bear to leave them behind. After all, it has been 18 years. sigh.

2007-06-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

was really comforted today. maybe it wasnt time yet. i praise God for that. For the things He showed.

2007-06-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

May Love, Peace and Hope be with you guys always.

2007-06-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

Moses or Joshua?

2 Different Lifes, 1 choice, 1 path, 1 destiny.

Losing it might not be an option after all.

Back from retreat. It was great.

2007-06-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

mum, dad and brother are leaving for church retreat tmr. Home alone again. I want to go with them tmr too!

CM tmr. NO CONFIDENCE. Screwed up na and som already.

i didnt know if i did right or wrong. one lesson learned.

2007-06-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

In a flash, this semester is coming to an end soon.

2007-06-04T20:54:00.000+08:00

changed blog skin. SUPPORT LOCAL MUSIC. haha. i like their latest album; Hip city.

Common test this week. Hectic. Church retreat straight after the last paper, going to miss it for the 1st day.

I feel like slapping a few people face and ask them wake up their bloody idea. They know it and yet they still commit it.

I cant believe it. They suspected it. Goodness.

2007-05-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

i felt i failed as a chair of the youth comm. I dont even know how to help, lead well nor communicate. Walking on my ways rather than God's. my own revelations than His. Im afraid the whole ministry is about to crumble in my hands. HELP!

Lau is leaving for aus in few weeks time. friends seem to be leaving one by one. they come and they go, like noone knows. friends that i've known for years looked like aliens to me right now.

every action has its cause and its consequences. it's not fair to push all the blame to God whenevr something omnious happened to us. Sometimes we sin and bad things happened. I guess that would be the consequence that we need to face when we sin and not blame God. We would all need to reflect of every little action and desicion we made. Be prepared.

Ridge is sounding nicer and better by the day.

2007-05-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

Ridge is back. And she sounds a whole lot better! hah

51% worship 49%me. The percentage looks small, but it isnt easy to achieve.

2007-05-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

so why should i even bother now.

im so disappointed in myself for the past few days. Things i said, things i done. All so wrong. i was never good with such stuff. Once it was soured, it could never be sweetened like it was ever before. I thought everything was alright but it wasnt. I lost one of my best pal.

Whats my problem. I wonder. I see people come and go. Backslided and never came back. So why?

Whenever i see them, im scared that they would never return. Why are they doing these? Why did i judged them? Why did i?

Its all so wrong. I'm sorry for all the things i said and done. Im sorry.

A miracle. I need one.

2007-04-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

school reopens tomorrow and im still in holiday mood, oblivious to whats going to happen. still holidays ends too quick. zzz

2007-04-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

life's becoming a familiar rountine like before. It's bad but i just cant help it. zz. Feels as though i went back into time, 2 years ago. It feels so strange, for we became strangers. Not known to anyone.

Went over to xavier's friend house with xav, glen and my erjie. Apparently he was the guy where i placed my order for elixir strings on an online forum. Small world. We tried his Lakewood D32 and gosh, it blew me off. Felt like chucking my new guitar away even though we have come to know each other for only a week. waha.

tick tock, school's reopening and im sleeping.

2007-03-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

But why did the rod become a serpent when Moses cast it to the ground? Moses never realised that there was a "snake" in his rod. You see, because of the fall of Man, there is a touch of the curse — a “snake” — in every natural thing, including your career, natural strength, talents and ministry.

So how do you deal with the “snake” in all things natural in your life? First, cast it to the Lord. Then, do what the Lord told Moses next: “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail”. (Exodus 4:4)

Now, it could be fatal to take a snake by its tail because it can easily turn its head around and bite you. So why did God say that?

When you take it by the tail, He will take the head! He wants you to let Him handle the head, and not grab it or hold on to it tightly in fear or self-effort. That is how you see your career, strength, talents and ministry supernaturally blessed.

Beloved, there is a “snake”, a touch of the curse, in everything in the natural. But give what is natural to the Lord and see the touch of the curse replaced with the touch of the supernatural!

found this on joan's blog and i thought it was rather meaningful. hah.

im pretty screwed la. i'll watch my back next time, for sure. i cant get close.

2007-03-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

hoho i got my new guitar and im one damn happy kid. wahaha.

anyway went out with JY today to see guitars again. haha he thought i didnt get mine yet and wanted to see guitars with me. Went sinamex to view the taylors and fishman pickups. They've just shipped in a newbatch of taylors and im itching to try them out. Fishman pickups aint cheap and they charge so much for installation fees. Kind of ex. zz. Then went citymusic and i realised i got ripped off from maestro. The planet waves strap they were selling, was like half price of maestro's. So much difference please. argh. i'll go to citymusic for straps and stuff next time.

Next we went cityhall and we walked there. zzz. Visited a drum shop, living strings, maestro, guitar77 and davis. i tried the bband pickups at maestro aint tht fantastic i guess. Davis' LR Baggs was so much better and cheaper la. oh well. Met up with yz, chicken and chin at lucky. Lot of things happened and im lazy to blog anymore. haha.

gonna sleep early tonight for it'll be a long long day tmr.

2007-03-24T00:46:00.000+08:00

scary things happened today, was so freaking embarrassed too la. But i really thank God that he brought me out of that situation even though i didnt totally rely on Him.

hoho getting my guitar tmr.. i hope. why does people like to make things diffcult for me huh? i cant even go buy my guitar in peace.

i've been slacking my ass away once again during my holidays. haha. nothing much happened. stayed home, eat, sleep, play. hah. thats all

2007-03-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

Played the electric guitar for band today. lol it was crappy. i was creating noise rather than music.

meeting today was also a lil disappointing.

aiya this place is getting more and more deserted. too lazy to blog.

2007-02-14T16:47:00.000+08:00

had a bad date with my valentine today. grr.. i made some really dumb mistakes that i shouldnt have. wrote some words that i should have avoided and some careless mistakes due to my poor memory. it's mistakes which i can never ever forgive myself.. marks must have been deducted and it wont come back again. urgh! my grade A for eltech is GONE! AH. screwed up my paper today! SOB.

hah kinda lame. oh well. tomorrow's my last paper! YAY. Poor nyp and tp they still gotta mug during cny. wahaha.

i think i'll be able to buy my guitar soon! :D

2007-02-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

thought that i should post something.

EG2 was amazingly a piece of cake. i only started revising this morning and i'm able to do all of the exam questions. haha. I was writing away happily. hopefully i could get an A for this module. hah. well im down with 1, 2 more to go! hah. bb!

2007-01-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

im back. been too lazy to blog. And it's almost the end of the month and i have not make my new year resolutions. wahaha.

1.inflitrate my church youths.
2.bring them on to another level higher.
3.more anointing in prophetic and youth ministry.
4.Save one soul. hah
5.Better relation with God.
6.Finish 2006 resolutions. waha

yea. thats it.

exams are coming and im still procastinating. grr. really hate myself for that. Was kinda bored just now and i scanned through all my photos which i had. i must admit i did change alot. And most of the people changed too. All look so different now.

2004 to 2006. haha most memorable years. Went through a hell of a rollercoaster ride during these 3 years. In a blink of eye 3 years gone by just like that. Happy and sad memories. hah. Im really really thankful that i went through all of that. What God has done and let me experience within those 3 years span all along was to mould and change me to fit for the position He gave me this year.

It's really amzing how God works. as when i went through the photos one by one, it sure feel nostalgic.

anyway. no point reminiscing now. zz gonna sleep. so long.

2006-12-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

back from camp! fun fun fun. gained so much.. heh.

had last youth committee meeting 2006 today. thought of what has gone through and it's definitely a learning experience. What i've gone through has been paved for next year. Im so grateful for that. Journey next year is going to be full of surprises! though i still cant really believe that im going to take control next year and uic going up to the YAs. quite sad and scary.

gonna miss uic peeps. the time we fellowshipped and had fun together. sigh.

another year is going to end. Life's never been better than before. All thanks to Jesus. hah. i shall do a reflection when i get back from thailand! so long.

2006-11-27T00:38:00.000+08:00

common test is coming, youth camp is coming, new year is coming.

whole of december is going to be rather busy. with sch test, camp, overseas trip. practically i guess i'll be mia-ing for a period of time. hah. so long!

2006-11-18T18:41:00.000+08:00

im soo tired. zz. sleep more also no use. haha.

had band prac today. i was kinda pissed with somebody. his pride pissed me off. oh well. most of cg ppl went to watch step up with daniel. but i didnt have the money and some other reasons not to.

shall end here ba

2006-11-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

short update.

been too lazy to blog.

slacking my last whole week of poly off.

playing ff12 like the world's gonna end tmr.

lastly, who says lightning doesnt strike twice at the same spot.. it did today.

zzz

Love them like Jesus

2006-11-08T22:10:00.000+08:00

The love of her life is drifting away
They’re losing the fight for another day
The life that she’s known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child’s broken heart

You’re holding her hand, you’re straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She’s desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She’s looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You’re holding her hand, you’re straining for words
You’re trying to make sense of it all
They’re desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They’re looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

Casting Crowns

2006-11-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

life's really unpredictable. you wont know when God will just take you away from this earth. received news that daniel's grandmother passed away.

upon receiving the news, my heart wrenched. though she wasnt related to me but i feel for her. she died painfully.. having both her legs amputated and being diagonised with high blood sugar for years. in the end i know she has found her place in Jesus' arms.

every sunday in church when i pass by her she would wave and smile at me. it's a heartwarming feeling. i guess it's now all gone. just like that. makes me think back of my own grandmothers. im really grateful and glad that both of them are still alive. it really makes me appreciate them more.

especially my mum's side granny. heh. she used to bring me out alot and buy me lots of toys. there's a period of time she would bring me for tuition and after that take me for lunch. whatever i asked for she would buy them for me. as i grew up, i didnt get to see her as much as before. only during sundays when my mum's side relatives would all gather at my house.

oh well. nothing much to talk about anyway. shall end here.

2006-11-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

the moon was red tonight. but not as red as the one 5 months ago during retreat in malaysia. come to think of it 5 months has just passed by since my encounter.

choices was what we learned today. it's kinda sad but i know its worth it! treasures up there is better than ones down here.

visited a patient in NUH today. had an interesting chat with my cousins. haha.

im no doubt upset though im surpressing my feelings. no point showing it. my head over my heart.

2006-11-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

i think im an asshole. if that piece of information told by me was to cause disharmony. im gonna shut my mouth and not share anything with anyone anymore.

life's unpredictable. looking at normal people and the next moment they fall terribly sick. so what can i do to help? my heart goes out to them but i cant do anything.

however somethings are predictable. i dont care anymore. my desicision. my way. my method.

long day today. trialaton( i didnt participate only help out), band prac, cg, youth committee meeting.

emotions running high. im getting pissed easily. i dont know why.

where's my perfect ending?

2006-10-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

woot. my chat with eda confirms everything. i was right! heh. people are so predictable.. not that im bragging but i seem to guess out every move correctly. hah. it's really funny la the whole situation. haha!

service, bible study, lunch, dance lesson, intercessor prayer meeting and home. im taking jazz dance lessons. hah believe or not. waha.

tmr's gonna be a long long day. going to be in sch from 8 morn till 7 night.

2006-10-26T20:49:00.000+08:00

watching tommy emmanuel play his guitar is madness. gives me the feeling of throwing my guitar away. waha. he's sure being blessed by God with his guitar skills.

today's CATS lesson is crazy. Lecturer is a dirty minded 49 year old man. his jokes are super sexual. "Smoking kills your tadpoles." HAHA. And there he kept ranting on alot of rubbish. SW we didnt manage to do anything cause it was raining. And the lecturer began to talk about his experience in the shipyard. quite interesting la.. especially on the part on how a rich man lost his 30million yacht in PSA. very hilarous.

2006-10-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

hah was looking at my pri sch friend's friendstermjust now. most of them changed beyond reconition. comparing them to my pri school photo they look alot different. waha.

went orchard with aaron, tony, heng kiat and jiayan after school. aaron wanted to buy a crumpler and we tagged along. after which we walked around orcahrd again. i can now close my eyes and walk around orchard la. dont know why i went there so often for what. madness. walk walk walk and my legs started to ache. tony was talking nonsense during the whole trip. King of crap. waha. he never cease to make anyone laugh with his stupid jokes.well went back around 5 plus and stop by popular at j8 for some stationery.

tmr's SW is stupid.. thinking about it makes me go crazy. zzz

2006-10-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

basics. i'm always forgetting them. i guess whatever events, whatever issues im dont seem to remember them. i guess for this issuse the answer is its basic form. hah

i dont like making mistakes. i never did. an error caused by myself i could lament about it the whole day and reflect on what i could have done better. i expect alot out of myself.. things given to me.. it must be 100% perfect. hah. i guess im rather practical. there's a time when i didnt help out. why didnt i just take the bag and help? i blew it.

2006-10-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

The ones whom i grew up with! hah

2006-10-24T00:25:00.000+08:00

ah my thoughts are killing me! so much to do and im forgetting every impt dates and stuff to do!

being disrupted every now and then by that issue. damn irrtating can. eda ask me go for it. i cant la. things wont turn out the way it will be. been thinking through, analysing.. and predicting things to happen. it'll go 90% of the resolution i come up with.

yay tmr's holiday.. gonna sleep till late afternoon if everything goes well. haha

2006-10-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

for all i've done, all that i've said.. what purpose is there? what purpose is it for?what's my motive? what's my true feelings? what am i doing it for?

2006-10-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

first few days of school rather crappy. not used in waking so early again la. felt damn sleepy through out the lectures and tutorials.

hah im starting to lose some confidence. really dont know how to handle it.

2006-10-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

even though i learned.. i cant apply them. all i'll do is bottle. there's a desire but i cant do it. im kinda disappointed in myself. couldnt forgiven myself for making mistakes. like i said before im a freak pefectionist. hah

school today is ok la. quite tired through out the whole day though.. been sometime since i saw my classmates. still crappy as before. hah.

2006-10-15T23:31:00.000+08:00

haiya.. i regret ah. something which i didnt do.. sob.

watched world trade center today. i think it was boring.. was actually broke but out of the blue david's mum gave me a red packet for helping out in her wedding! watched it at VIVO city. took alot of lame pictures.. haha. It's freaking crowded la. saw eugene and charmaine together at the toyrus there. HAHA kenna caught by me sia.. eugene still say he wont fall for my sch cadet. sucker...

sch's tmr.. dang i guess i played too much dont fell like going back at all haha. shall stop here.

2006-10-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

didnt feel really well the whole day. was feeling kinda drowsy and didnt have much energy.

after cg went to this malay pasar malam at paya lebar. full of malay food.. sob and i cant buy them. AH! ramly burger looks damn good la. tmr gonna play for service kinda imprompto hah. gonna sleep now though its early. ha

2006-10-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

internet was down for the past few days. hah. during that time was occupying myself with movies and anime.

spent the whole day on anime and movies again and finally my broadband was up again. going to go queenways tmr! shop for my shoe. haha. aiya nothing to type. shall end here.

2006-10-04T17:11:00.000+08:00

surrender was what i learned.. there are some issuses i still cant let go off. im still unsure of letting God take charge. i was afraid things might not go the way i wanted it to be. how contradicting.. the lack of trust i had in Him which i thought i never had. subconsciously im still clinging on to it, not letting go.

i've given up hope. For it wasnt meant to be. hah

2006-10-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

i have started my lazy habits again. waha. glen stayed over again. dota whole day again. haha. i'll run tmr! must run or im going to suffer soon. heh. have been procastinating like no tomorrow.. hahaha.

2006-10-02T10:25:00.000+08:00

i cant believe it. hah i just dont.

2006-09-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

im tired but who cares.. no one is able to take the job. So i take it all.

My answers came. Truth was revealed. I feel like a fool. Not that i keep thinking but it's obvious isnt it?

i dyed my hair. good bye NCC.

2006-09-28T17:07:00.000+08:00

its understandable. its clear. there's no doubt. i know what i am supposed to do. i wont sink in anymore. no more.

Learned a great deal more from the purpose driven life book. I could never stop praising him for His wonderous works. Life's gonna changed for the next part of my days. haha.

2006-09-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

been thinking through alot of stuff. It all felt like a dream and it didnt come true. hah. watched mighty to save dvd. power! sad thing is the cd has missed out quite a number of songs from the dvd la.

glen stayed over yesterday. kept playing dota.. mad :P.

finally took my butt out of the house and swam. haha patheic stamina. used to be able to swim 30 laps with no diffculty. now it took me so much just to swim 10 laps and the pool size was smaller. haha.

2006-09-25T15:26:00.000+08:00

ah.. all of the sudden i had the urge to dye my hair. Meaning i dont wish to go for ncc trainings anymore. hahaha.

2006-09-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

had a talk with uncle wen zhao today. built my faith and changed my way of how God works. pretty exciting.

2006-09-23T00:48:00.000+08:00

i just hate it when ppl do that. i just hate it.

2006-09-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

boy oh boy. revelations revelations. heh. i guess answer's right in front of me. no point la. work work work work! it'll keep myself away from everything else.

2006-09-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

Convinced of my deception
I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would

A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

[Chorus:]
If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
I would be...
I would be...
...frail

Blessed are the shallow
Depth they'll never find
Seemed to be some comfort
In rooms I try to hide

Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

2006-09-21T00:52:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel so lost. kinda random. whatever i do for the youth ministry, yes there is a sense of achievement but there are times i dont know why i just feel lost. like what will be the next step and do i have what it takes to take over the whole ministry next year?

so uncertain. so blank. so doubtful.

2006-09-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

i guess i should stop being so gullible and stupid.

been busy with the youth ministry for the past week.. im pretty much satisfied with the things going on now and then except for a few minor details. actually i didnt expect much to be done during this holiday but poof it just came out.

core meeting we had was rather sian.. haha! Was very tired so fidgetted around alot. hah. Next year we'll under go some changes.. with uic going up to the YAGs. Meaning more resopnsibility. hah.

glad how God has brought this new committee through. heh. I'll do more.. definitely! hah. shall end here.

2006-09-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

a created god is no God.

2006-09-13T22:23:00.000+08:00

horrendous day. hah. went out door to door to give out pamphlets for en hong. have not been moving much so it's pretty tiring. hahaa.

oh yea here's a picture of the mission trippers plus some peeps who joined us on the last day. the ones in white were the trippers.

heh this is a pic where grace's signature move was used. wahaa

what a dumb post. hahaa

2006-09-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

3 more days, im receiving my module results and im going to malaysia.. no confidence. ah expecting my gpa to be rather screwed badly.

im rotting at home. i want a job badly.

2006-09-11T22:46:00.001+08:00

So what can I say and what could I do?

i did something really extraordinary today. so proud of myself. haha. even though it has followed me for 3 years.

it has always been my wish to lead people into worship.. into His holy of the holies. Whenever im serving on stage i always hoped the congregation would be immearsed into worshipping God with all their hearts and enjoy the worship session. But sometimes i noticed the same bunch of people wasnt really led into worshipping Him fully. pretty much discouraging..

The time when i lead people into the highest stage of worship was during cg. it was a totally unprepared worship session for me and the spirit led. I enjoyed playing during that time. How i wished whenever i was playing on stage the congregation could be filled with His spirit and worship.

btw i watched the host today. my ratings would be 8.5/10.. hah

2006-09-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

aiya today said something so stupid. zzz. wonder why i gave that answer.

im in a state of confusion.. so unsure of what the future lies. Answers i need them.

2006-09-06T00:36:00.000+08:00

sometimes i rather envy those who knows how to play the piano. They are able to express their feelings over the gigantic instrument which they play on. If only i could play.. i would be rushing through the and slamming on the keys right now. kinda regret the chance i missed on learning how to play it. Mom once asked me when i was rather young if i like to learn but i objected it thinking how girly it was. haha i was so immatured.

2006-09-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

BAck from my mission trip in malaysia, JB. 31st aug till 3 sept. It was held at the area of ai qiu jie's church. woot it was definitely a great experience and it built my faith up. The way God moved is really unexpected. The purpose of our trip is to help ai qiu jie set up a youth ministry and boy we sure did.. or rather God did it. hah.

i'll just run through some details.

First day.
well i went to pasir ris to visit mrs koh. didnt went back to canberra. no point going back there as i get to see the teachers way too often. hah. after which, all of the mission trippers went to church and gathered at around 3pm. we did some packing and set off at 4 plus. reached ai jiu jie's church around 5 plus 6? we placed our stuff there and had a sumptous dinner. waha. gathered in church again and we set up the equipments and rehearsed for the evangelistic event that we are doing for the church. next would be sleep.

Second day.
we sorta evangelised to a school nearby. respond was great. And Ted became an overnight star within the youths. waha. after which we had training, worship, lunch, street e, break, rehearsal, break, dinner, rehearsal.

Third day.
went to some family center opened by christians. pretty interesting. our timetable was somewhat the same as yesterday.

Final day.
It was a sunday and attended the church's service. i know i shouldnt say this but it was boring.. seriously. Final prep for the e event. everything was good to go. i invited my classmate as he was a malaysian. i shant go into details of the event but 80% of the ppl who came accepted Christ even my friend! I was prompting him as when my reverend is doing the altar call however he didnt really budge. In the end i dont know why, he just raised his hand up. hah surprised i was. heh. btw around 50 to 60 youths came. oh ya they were from the sch we visited during our second day. We went back after the event. i reached hm around 130 am today. hah.

i've learnt much from this trip and i have yet to learn the lesson of obedience. oh well.

i've done something.. but i dont know if it's enough.

2006-08-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

my exams are over and next comes my 7 weeks of holidays. pretty lost of what should i do during this 7 weeks. I think my results are gonna be pretty screwed for some modules.

2006-08-21T13:03:00.000+08:00

to study for a paper which you have totally no interest in is tedious. i just feel like burning all my books away.

2006-08-20T21:16:00.000+08:00

woke up with a major headache. im starting to dislike sundays. dont get enough rest and im feeling lethergic the whole day. played for service today. aiya. nothing going on today. service, lunch, slack and home.

2006-08-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

turned 17 today. received lots of well wishes from people.. hah dont know whether i should be happy or not.

Looking back.. im being blessed greatly for the past year. Gifts given by God through out the year is really amazing. Grown and a breakthrough spiritually. Never-ending blessings. My dad accepted Christ! hah. Setting each birthday as an indicater, I'll look back and see what God has given and what i've done.

it aint the same as before. sigh.

2006-08-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

woke up thinking it was monday. so dumb.

Feeling rather frustrated lately, mind is just so scattered. Im losing my focus. In Jesus, my studies, my responsibilities. Its like nothing matters anymore. Just wasting my life away.

the light.. where is my light.

2006-08-12T00:19:00.000+08:00

WTH LA. my laptop crash. bloody hell. second time. i just changed the motherboard not too long ago. when i received my laptop back for the first time from repairs it already has problem. yet they still told me everything is fine?! idiot. conclusion.

ACER = TRASH

2006-08-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

i just feel like laughing at my stupidity. seriously there are times i hate myself.

2006-08-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

i regretted going to school today. wasted 10 bucks on cab fare, ending up in school doing nothing. damn shit sia. had national day celebration in school. was ok la. some of us were fooling around. nothing to say for today. bye

2006-08-05T01:01:00.000+08:00

hah. i skipped math and only went to school for 2 hours. after lesson went to look for glen. went around with him to search for his stuff. then came the interesting part. hah i and glen became models for a girl named grace. she's actually glen's friend lah.

what were we suppose to doing? play basketball and let her snap pictures for her project. the whole process was funny. we kept asking are the poses good or not. hahaa. oh well.

after that went for prayer meeting in church. playing for prayer meetings and sunday is so different. dont know why but i enjoy more on playing for the meeting. then we had some sharing, was supposed to talk about a topic in the puropse driven life in the end we crapped about noah's ark and some other biblical stuff.

going to sleep now. zzz

2006-08-01T21:09:00.000+08:00

just simply love those unprepared worship sessions i had. when the spirit leads, it's a totally different experience in leading worship for me. hah.

2006-07-30T22:17:00.000+08:00

Fire fall down

You bought my life with the
Blood that You shed on the cross
When You died for the sins of men
And You let out a cry
Crucified now alive in me

These hands are Yours
Teach them to serve as You please
And I'll reach out desperate to see
All the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in You

I'll never be the same
No I'll never be the same

Cause I know that You're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy Name
Jesus Christ

You changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In You I'm blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of You

Your fire fall down
Fall down
On us we pray
As we seek

Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

a prayer of mine.

2006-07-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

yay all the major issues are over and now i can take a breather. band practices gets earlier and earlier each week. sob.

2006-07-25T22:08:00.000+08:00

one question. why bother asking God to give you faith to move mountains; why not ask Him to bestow you the faith to save the world?

2006-07-18T22:50:00.000+08:00

Im a perfectionist. I like everything to be done in order and things go by my plan. I guess that isnt God wanted from me by organising the youth evangelistic event. Everything i really do mean EVERYTHING, went out of my plans. Whatever i relied on my strength it went haywired.

On sunday Liyun shared a verse from Habbakuk. lazy to type. Exactly for me. Describes what i'm doing for the event perfectly. Im working more rather than praying. This totally coincides with the vision the church had of 500 people. hah. Though the time is short, through uncle wenfu God told me whatever i have now, its more than enough. The way things God does is so random and unusual. so weird as the saying goes do not use a finite mind to understand an infinite God. How true.

After the event is over i gotta seriously mug. Exams in a month's time exactly and i got serious problems in two of my modules. fail these 2 it's game over for me.

I've have been sleeping so much lesser than before! I need my sleep. ZZZ

2006-07-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

been so busy the past few days. evangelistic event, prayer meetings, school etc etc. i lost time to be able to spend alone and with my friends. i guess i should start to let go some of my responsibilties.

throughout the week i've seen and experienced so much of God's glory and work. How he touched people, how he worked in them especially my Dad. after 21 years he accepted Christ! can you imagine how my mum perserved and waited for this day to come? It happened so quick. All glory to the Lord.

exams are coming! and i've not been studying. so it's time to hit the books. shall stop here. bye

2006-07-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

hah. i guess the question was being popped up again. months ago i wondered if i should step out of the youth committee. surprisingly the question indirectly appeared out again. i've been considering. yes it's definitely time for me to step out of a leadership role. throughout these years, i've been uptaking leadership roles. ppl expect something out of me but there i times i disappoint them.

i made a mess out of the evangelistic meeting. it's really time to say goodbye. by the end of the year i should give the rest of my fellow peers in church a chance to partake the role. it cant be me all the time. it cant be me leading all the time. i just pray that God will lead this committee through and bless them.

reason for my step down; because i've a lesson yet to learn, the most impt aspect of a leader. Humility. personally i feel that im still lacking of this quality. It result to so much in my over confidence in things done. there's something i wanted to say yet i've forgotten. hah.

well this post will be just a personal thought of mine today. stop here. ciaoz.

2006-07-09T21:18:00.000+08:00

God is ever faithful. so much has happened today but im too lazy to type out. just pray that things will continue working out! hah.

*do not use a finite mind to understand an infinite God.

2006-07-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

the greatest love that anyone could ever know was the One who overcame the cross and grave to find my soul.

i made the first step.

2006-07-06T16:06:00.000+08:00

im pretty disappointed. there seem to be politics wherever ppl go. sch, work and guess what. even church.

im rather upset that im not able to attend the prophetic course. i wondered why certain christians are so afraid works of our God; the Holy spirit. Its pretty stupid la as they dont believe in the Holy spirit as stated in the bible, they went against it. Somehow they trust and accept God yet they reject His works. Its contradicting la. like HELLO? what the heck are you thinking?

exam's in months time. so bloody fast. im still in holiday mood. first year of poly is super slack. it's as though you're in a holiday.

2006-07-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

im falling sick and im welcoming it. please let me be sick. so i will be able to lie in the bed all day do nothing but eat and sleep.

2006-07-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

His mercies never end.

2006-07-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

haha. sometimes i guess im really stupid. so that story ends here.

found out something which i was trying to confirm all the while. glad im used to such results.

had a great sharing session with lisi and xavier at my place today. learned more about my spiritual gifts and it's time to excerise em. the cousins and aunties prayed together again. His presence was truly strong. when ppl come together and seek Him, pray, cry out to Him; He definitely be there.

2006-06-29T13:43:00.000+08:00

some random thoughts of mine before i leave.

i guess yesterday was an awesome night. holy spirit was really with us, felt His presence. the peace and joy is undescribable. bestowed with numerous gifts. im happy. very grateful.

went to school without knowing that i have a test to do. oh well still manage to scribble nonsense. hopefully i'll pass. going off to sec sch now for ncc training. shall blog more later.

2006-06-27T20:05:00.000+08:00

though i've been lying to myself, contradicting. but for now it's better to stay at one person.

i got my laptop back and guess what, there are still problems with it. stupid acer. useless laptop. regretted buying it. ah got my test results back. i failed NA. sad. got to retest for NA. this sucks. just passed EM and im darn happy abt it.

ah.. im psycho-ing my dad to buy me an ipod. hopefully he'll give in and get me one. HAHA.

2006-06-25T23:31:00.000+08:00

aiya. dont know what i am doing. was blown off.

school's tml! hahaa i didnt even bother to touch my homework. i dont think any of my lecture's gonna care anyway. zzz. it's late gonna sleep. night ppl.

2006-06-24T20:51:00.000+08:00

there are things that are beautiful because one couldnt possess them.

thats the reason.

zzz. i come to notice i have a habit. while on a bus, car or whatever the vehicle i tend to stare at the surroundings looking out at the scenery. i dont like talking to ppl much when travelling. haha. just like looking at the environment, going into a world of my own. though the journey is the same, i'll never get bored of looking cause there's always something out there waiting to be discovered. haha. and at times even though im familiarised with the surroundings, occasionally i would find something new. i know im weird. ha.

well had cg at 10 am today. so early lah. was very sleepy. grace had a new hairdo. haha! after which band meeting at 1 and they discussed about some training programs for the up coming training sessions. die. im made to be a mentor. personally i cant even fend for myself and they ask me to teach? dunno what shld i really do. i myself still got so much to learn. next went beach road with some church peeps for lunch and then watched "just my luck" with some cg ppl. overall i guess the movie was pretty alright.